Sarah Goad, Editor in Chief and Lord Commander of Face Beat It

All shall love me and despair.

Ryan Smythe: Editor, Producer, Podcast Host

Photo credit: Shira Lian

I’m responsible for the graphics on this site as well as some of the content. Honestly, I’m just here because no one can stop me from making puns. I have more tattoos now.

  • Formerly T8M copy editor (ghosted)
  • Formerly QP West social media (fired)

Bruce Donnelly: Staff Writer

Basically, I’m LeBron and this shithole is Cleveland.

Elizabeth Barcelos: Staff Writer, Podcast Host, Livestreamer

Quidditch mom. SJSU’s mouthiest alumna. Silicon Valley snarker. Would you believe me if I told you that I’m retiring (again)?

Mitchell Hatfield: Contributor

Mitch Hatfield Staff Photo

Some may call me a very sedimental man, but really I just wake up every day ready to rock your socks off.

Ali Markus: Contributor, Photo Editor

Photo credit: Cara Marassa

Ali has no chill. She’s probably yelling at Smythe of Bruce right now. Maybe taking photographs of a car.

Marissa Hondros: Artist, Contributor

I’m not quite sure why or how I’m here, both on the website and in life in general. Contributes in the form of art, memes, and comic relief. Here to steal Liz’s youth.

Carlos “Jefferson Steelflex” Flores: Musician Extraordinaire, Contributor

Carlos Flores Staff Photo

I honestly have no idea.

FBI Emeritus:

Marcus: Contributor, Self-Proclaimed Journalistic Consultant, Podcast Host

I make sure these dorks don’t forget the Northwest. Sometimes I actually play the sport too. Also, I’m bout that action boss.

Ryan Sparks: Staff Writer, Podcast Host

By day I go by Rychu, but when darkness falls and the city needs me, I don my cape to become Captain Queer. With so many assholes running this site, someone needs to stand up for justice and the Great Lakes.